M1 - Learner Manual

Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others.

We listen to obtain information

We listen to understand

We listen for enjoyment

We listen to learn

Listening Skills: obtaining all relevant information during client interview^[1]

Validate Feelings

Always deal with the emotions first. Sometimes people are overwhelmed by their emotions but are embarrassed at the same time. Make sure they know that you believe their emotions are valid. You may not agree with everything they are saying, but you can always acknowledge how they feel.

For example ‘I can see how much this has upset you’ or ‘I’m sorry this has been a terrible experience for you.’

Don’t try to give advice about what they should have done. This is not the time.

Reflect the fact

‘While they are telling you their story, take note of the main facts (who was involved, when and where did it happen).

Don’t worry about trying to get the facts straight until the person seems a little calmer – this will happen if they feel their emotions have been accepted as valid.

Once the person has calmed down – then you can try to get the facts of the matter straight. When they have finished with their story, go back over it with them, at first just focus on the main facts, leaving out all the extra detail that is not essential. ‘So, let’s go back, what happened was you…’

Later you will need to go over all the finer details to make sure you get the whole story correctly described. You may need to do this a couple of times before it is finished.  This is because when people are upset they often tell a story in a way that might leave important bits out. They may forget details or may be too embarrassed…’

Lots of detail will be irrelevant. Sometimes offensive behaviour may have been very upsetting but is not illegal. This may mean that nothing can be done, or it may just mean there are no legal tracks but there may be community and individual tracks that are worthwhile following.’

Keep a written record^[2]

‘One of the most useful things you can do is to help the Complainant write a detailed record of the whole story – particularly if you think it may involve legal tracks. It may not be appropriate to try to do this when they first come to see you, especially if they are distressed, but it is important to do it as soon as possible to make sure they don’t forget important details.’

‘It may help to get them to provide other details of the day when the incident happened, what the weather was like? How did they get to the place where the incident occurred, Did they drive? Who else was there? Questions like these will help the person remember the details of the incident.

When they describe the actual incident keep asking questions to fill in the detail. Who else was there then? Did they say anything?

When the whole story is written down, get the person to go over it again to see if they remember anything else.

When you have the full story, you can work through to see where the problems lie. They you can begin to work out what information you need and how you might solve the problem.

In communities where there is a pattern of problems with a particular person or organisation, for example a store or health clinic, it is very useful for someone, perhaps from a community organisation, to keep a regular record of incidents. Make a note of the date, what happened and who was involved. Even if some incidents seem petty it may become important later to establish an ongoing pattern of behaviour.’

Analyse the Problem

Once you know what actually happened, the next step is to analyse the incident to work out why this was a problem. It is important to find out what should have happened in order to be clear as to exactly what the problem is, and how it can remedied. Ask yourself:

What should have happened?

Were there any laws broken?

Sometimes it is not a matter of laws being broken, but that proper procedures were not followed.

Active Listening

Much of being a good listener and responding to client’s needs appropriately has to do with a skill known as ‘active listening’. 

…. Becoming an Active Listener[3]

There are five key elements of active listening. They all help you ensure that you hear the other person, and that the other person knows you are hearing what they say.

1. Pay Attention

Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly. 

Look at the speaker directly (if culturally appropriate).

Put aside distracting thoughts. 

Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!

Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. For example, side conversations.

"Listen" to the speaker's body language.

2. Show That You're Listening

Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention. 

Nod occasionally.

Smile and use other facial expressions. 

Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting. 

Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.

3. Provide Feedback

Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.

Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," and "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to reflect back. 

Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say." "Is this what you mean?" 

Summarize the speaker's comments periodically

Tip:

If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone said, say so, and ask for more information: ‘I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX; is that what you meant?’

4. Defer Judgment

Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message. 

Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions.

Don't interrupt with counter arguments.

5. Respond Appropriately

Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down. 

Be candid, open, and honest in your response. 

Assert your opinions respectfully. 

Treat the other person in a way that you think he or she would want to be treated.

‘It is important to know when it is necessary to refer a conflict to external dispute resolution bodies’